Why You Feel Exhausted in Your 40s (And It Might Not Be “Just Stress”)

I thought I was just exhausted… but it wasn’t that simple.

School holidays were a whirlwind over here. Can you relate? My son’s preschool stayed open, my daughter had a few days of vacation care lined up, and I remember thinking… this might actually be manageable. A bit of work, some fun family time, a lovely balance.

By day two, my daughter was injured and couldn’t walk for a week.

Suddenly I was carrying her everywhere. Medical appointments, X-rays, physio. Trying to keep things fun for the kids while juggling work… and of course, my son decided he also was 'injured' and needed to be carried - bless him.

It was a whirlwind - but I coped - it didn't derail me and I didn't have a meltdown - a few months ago this might have been a different story.

Everyone’s back at school now and so far, no phone calls. Fingers crossed.

But this kind of chaos? It’s not unusual for any of us. How we experience it all comes down to our baseline health and habits.

Life often ramps up. Things don’t go to plan. And we just… keep going.

We drink more coffee to keep up. Grab whatever food is easiest. Pour a glass of wine at the end of the day to switch off.

Just doing what we need to get through - and for a while, it works...Until it doesn’t.

Because somewhere along the way, you stop bouncing back the way you used to.

You wake up tired. You feel flat. Your brain feels foggy. Your body feels different.

And you tell yourself the same thing most women do:

“I’m just tired because I'm busy/overwhelmed/juggling too much.” OR “It'll be better when....”

But what if it’s not that simple?

Why am I so tired all the time now I'm in my 40s?

Short answer: For many women, this kind of exhaustion is linked to changes in hormones and blood sugar regulation during perimenopause, not just stress or a full schedule.

Here’s what I want you to know - Feeling constantly tired in your 40s isn’t always about doing too much or not sleeping enough, although of course those are contributing factors.

Yes, life is full. Yes, you’re likely carrying a lot more these days. But there’s often something happening underneath that makes everything feel harder than it should.

Truth be told: Over the past couple of years, there were moments where I felt like I wasn’t quite keeping up.

• I was forgetting things or not following up properly: I told myself I was just busy, overworked and juggling too much.

• I felt exhausted, even when I was doing all the “right” things. I blamed broken sleep and a full schedule.

• My weight was creeping up despite being a go-to nutritionist for weight loss support. I put it down to inconsistent exercise/lack of accountability.

And to be fair… those things were part of the picture.

But what I didn’t fully appreciate at the time was how much ongoing stress, disrupted sleep, and that constant go-go-go pace can start to affect key systems such as blood sugar regulation. And when that starts to shift, everything - and I mean everything - feels harder.

Energy becomes unstable. Cravings get louder. Focus is gone, brain fog takes over. Your body stops working the way it used to.

This is where insulin resistance can be quietly developing… especially in perimenopause.

Not in a dramatic, obvious way. Just enough to leave you feeling like something is off.

And because it builds gradually, it’s incredibly easy to explain away.

We call it stress. We blame being busy. We push through - because 'things will get easier when...'

I did too. My diet was still healthy but I tried to lighten my load by ordering in more and cooking less. I drank more coffee to cope, I took supplements to support my energy but didn't address the cause. I suffered through in silence while prioritising everyone's needs - except my own.

The hidden pattern many women miss

Short answer:What feels like stress, ageing, or “just life” is often a pattern your body has been signalling for a while.

Here’s the part that’s easy to miss: Most women don’t suddenly feel awful overnight. It builds slowly.

You start needing more coffee to get going. You feel fine after meals… until you don’t. You notice you’re snacking more, or craving sugar in the afternoon. Sleep becomes lighter. You wake up feeling like you never quite recharged.

None of it feels serious on its own.

So you keep going.

But when you zoom out, there’s a pattern.

And once you see it, you can’t unsee it. Life has become more survival and far less fun.

What is insulin resistance in perimenopause? (in plain English)

Short answer:It’s when your body becomes less efficient at managing blood sugar, which can leave you feeling flat, foggy, and constantly chasing energy.

Let’s keep this simple. Every time you eat, your body breaks food down into glucose, which is used for energy. Insulin is the 'taxi' hormone that helps move that glucose into your cells.

But over time, especially with ongoing stress, disrupted sleep, and hormonal shifts, your body can become less responsive to insulin.

So instead of smooth, steady energy… you get spikes and crashes.

And those crashes? They hit hard in your 40s - That’s when you reach for coffee. Or something sweet. Or anything that will get you through the next few hours.

In perimenopause, this becomes more common.

Not because you’re doing anything wrong, but because your body is changing and needs a different kind of support.

Common signs of insulin resistance in women 40+

Short answer:It doesn’t always look obvious, but the signs are often already there.

It can show up as:

• Energy crashes, especially after meals

• Cravings that feel hard to ignore (particularly for sugar or carbs)

• Weight gain around the middle

• Chronic nasal congestion - more on this another time

• Bloating or feeling uncomfortable after eating

• Brain fog or struggling to focus

• Feeling wired but tired

• Waking up exhausted, even after a full night in bed

• Sleep disruptions, night waking, or night sweats

You might recognise a few of these. You might recognise all of them. Either way, it’s often not random.

The moment it clicked for me

Short answer: Sometimes it’s easier to recognise patterns in others before we recognise them in ourselves.

A long-term patient came to see me, someone I’ve worked with since 2010 but haven't seen in a couple of years.

She walked in exhausted, worn, not herself. She walked me through her symptoms, her routine, what she was eating, how she was feeling - the pattern was clear.

“I think you might be insulin resistant,” I said.

We didn’t overhaul everything. Her foundation was already solid.

We made a few small adjustments. Tweaked how her meals were structured. Added one single supplemental support after meals to help better stabilise blood glucose.

That was it.

Three days later, she messaged me.

Her energy was more consistent. No big crashes after meals.Cravings had settled.Her clothes were already feeling more comfortable.

No extreme changes - Her body just started responding differently.

And that’s when it really landed for me… personally.

How to support your energy and blood sugar (without overhauling your life)

Short answer: You don’t need to do more. You need to do a few things more consistently.

This is where many women get overwhelmed.

They think they need a full reset. A strict plan. More discipline.

You don’t.

You need stable foundations.

Two simple places to start:

1. Build your meals to keep you full and steady

No matter what you're craving - aim to include protein, healthy fats, and vegetables at each meal. This helps slow down how quickly glucose enters your bloodstream and supports more stable energy, while also providing more nutrients required for glucose metabolism.

2. Move after meals

This doesn’t need to be a workout. A 10-minute walk. A few laps of the house/office. Even calf raises while you’re in the kitchen.

It helps your body use glucose more effectively, which can reduce those post-meal crashes.

PS: If you’re already doing these things and still feeling flat, that’s usually a sign your body needs a bit more targeted support.

Why pushing through isn’t working anymore

Short answer:What used to work no longer does, because your body is asking for a different kind of support.

In your 20s and 30s, you could get away with a lot more.

Skipping meals. Running on caffeine. Pushing through stress.

Your body was more forgiving.

Now? It is more reactive, it needs more support. And pushing harder often just leaves you more depleted. This is usually the point where women start to feel frustrated.

Because they’re not doing anything “wrong”… but things aren’t working like they used to.

That’s often the turning point.

The moment you realise something needs to change.

If you don’t feel like yourself anymore, read this

Short answer: Feeling flat, foggy, and constantly tired isn’t something you have to keep accepting.

If you’ve been telling yourself:

“I just need to get through this season” “It’ll settle down soon” “I’ll focus on myself later”

You’re not alone.

But “later” has a way of never arriving.

Especially when you’ve spent years putting everyone else first.

There comes a point where you realise… you can’t keep running on empty.

And more importantly, you don’t actually want to.

A simpler way forward (Hormonal Harmony 40+)

Short answer:You don’t need more information. You need the right support, in the right order.

This is exactly why I’ve been building something behind the scenes.

A way to understand what’s actually driving your symptoms… and how to support your body in a way that fits into your life.

Hormonal Harmony 40+ is designed for this stage specifically.

One focus at a time.Clear guidance. Support along the way.

So you’re not second-guessing everything or trying to piece it together on your own.

How to get early access

If this is the point where something is clicking for you…

If you’re done brushing it off and pushing through…

You can join the waitlist below for early access when Hormonal Harmony 40+ opens.

You’ll be the first to know when doors open, and you’ll get the details before it’s released more broadly.

Join the Wait List